It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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