wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize