my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
