there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
