When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
