Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat

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(662): View more from Mississippi

neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe

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(301): View more from Maryland

he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(413): View more from Massachusetts

he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive

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(408): View more from California

My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.

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(360): View more from Washington

I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back

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