i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??