STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
