It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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