New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
