i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
