Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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