tell your sister to shave her snatch
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
