I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
