just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
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Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
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Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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