whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
