she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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