the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
