If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
