I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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