I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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