I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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