I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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