Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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