I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
