it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We don't watch enough power rangers
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
