So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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