If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
