walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
