I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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