drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
