He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
