And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
