I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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