rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
