Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think your dad took our porno
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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