Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.