just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
