Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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