We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
