Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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