hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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