i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
