Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
