if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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