I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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