Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
