im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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