she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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