just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
