Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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