i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
