Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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