My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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