I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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