ugly people sure do ruin things
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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