Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
