What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I cockslap morals
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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