I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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