Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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