my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
