yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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