we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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