It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she peed on how many people?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
