You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
only you would photoshop your dick
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
