I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
