I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
